Great Stuff About the End of the World: 2012 edition

Satirical writer Andy Borowitz [@BorowitzReport] wrote on Twitter:

One upside of a 2012 Mayan apocalypse is no more Republican debates. #2012 #HappyNewYear         Dec 31, 2011

Aside from the end of the fake debates, there’s more good news for 2012’s apocalypse:

No more fake Kardasian weddings.

No more fake orange-glow tans (Boehner, Trump, Snooki).

No more fake Zen masters, fake Tulkus, fake monks, fake yogis, fake gurus.

No more fake politicians selling fake hope.

No more fake reasons for going to war.

No more fake celebrities fake singing fake songs.

No more fake theatrical productions for fake security reasons.

No more fake trials for fake political reasons.

No more fake military faking being cops.

No more fake smiles, fake concern, fake sympathy, fake compassion.

No more fake emails for fake products and fake services and fake offers.

No more fake research on fake patients for fake patents for fake medicines.

No more fake demonstrations of fake outrage funded by fake corporate backers.

No more fake celebrity authors pushing fake autobiographies.

No more fake passports for fake citizens to hide their fake financial transgressions.

No more fake schools selling fake credentials.

No more fake charities.

No more fake TV presenters reading fake news.

No more fake enthusiasm by fake audiences for fake talk shows that are really extended advertisements.

No more fake links on fake websites.

No more fake outrage over fake issues.

No more fake conspiracies to cover fake operations.

No more fake parents pushing fake children in fake gem tiaras down fake runways for fake reality programs.

No more fake accounting by fake fund managers for fake mortgages.

No more fake bargains for fake products.

No more fake food.

No more fake hysteria over fake emergencies.

Too bad it’s just another fake apocalypse.

 

But let’s suppose it isn’t. Let’s suppose we know our deadline. Let’s suppose we have 11 months to make it mean something, to make it all worthwhile. Let’s fake it. For real.

How do you really want it all to end?

Not like this.

Not like this.

Not like this.

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